Jan. 22, 2007 -- Of all the president-wannabes who emerged from their thickets, mole
holes, burrows, and termite mounds last week, the funniest was Senator
Sam Brownback of Kansas who told a campaign kickoff audience that he
was setting off on "the yellow brick road to the White House." Which
raises an interesting question: is Brownback running
for Wizard of Oz or for president? Brownback represents the Mid Western
suburban evangelicals, a sort of death cult composed of people unaware
that their own lifestyle has driven them crazy. Unbeknownst to those
inside the Beltway or up in Manhattan, though, the heartland of America
is in deep enough despair to elect a closet maniac like Brownback.
Let's hope that he is found to be connected romantically to a male
prostitute specializing in sadomasochism and humiliation.
In case you can't tell, I don't like Hillary. I regard her as a
monster of ambition. I voted for her husband twice, but concluded sadly
that he had accomplished little in relation to his supposed abilities.
Bill Clinton now looks like just another wreck on the shoals of male
egotism, and seems fated, in the classically tragic sense, to creep
behind in his wife's footsteps until he is taken offstage by infarction
or aneurysm (or perhaps she will just chew his head off, in the
tradition of the more powerful female mantis).
My original beef is that Hillary virtually hijacked the New
York state Democratic party in her 2000 senate bid -- as if there were
no actual New Yorkers qualified to represent their state. Mommy was so
powerfully entitled that the state party brass and the media bigwigs
rolled over and didn't even question her poor residency qualifications,
which were glaring. Since then, despite all her plaudits for seizing
senatorial leadership, she has done little but grandstand in
preparation for this moment of launching to higher office.
Hillary's presidential campaign kickoff announcement was
saturated in phoniness, from the illusion of personal warmth to the
bizarre leafy-green exterior background that suggested the announcement
had been taped back in August and put in the freezer since then.
Worldwide, Mommy leadership has not necessarily been such a great
thing. Margaret Thatcher got more credit than she deserved for turning
around the British economy (when, in fact, it was the North Sea oil
bonanza that did it, and that's over now). Otherwise, the "Iron Lady"
presided over more internal rot, including a disastrous open-door
immigration policy and the dismantling of the railroad system. Indira
Ghandi demolished civil liberties and presided over an extravaganza of
grift before she was assassinated. Benazir Bhutto was run out office in
Pakistan twice, most recently for money laundering.
Now, it still might be the case that America would benefit
from a Mommy president, but please not this particular Mommy. Behind
the WalMart smile sits Nemesis, the remorseless spirit of vengeance,
obsessed with smiting enemies. That might work to advantage against the
oriental despots lined up to eat America's lunch. But I'm more inclined
to think that Hillary would use it against her own countrymen.
It's interesting that her out-of the-box campaign slogan is "In
It to Win It," which sounds a bit like Gerald Ford's old "Whip
Inflation Now (WIN)" button, which is to say the war cry of a loser.
Check the "no" box on Hillary. Then check it again. And again.
Barack Obama blindsided Hillary last week, pretty much forcing
her hand and making her look artificially spontaneous. I like Obama
pretty well. What I like best about him is that he seems to be a
genuinely normal human being. He wasn't born with any advantages and he
doesn't resort to any false claims of disadvantage either. There's
nothing puffed up about him, which is to say, nothing presidential. His
popularity so far is based on this genuineness combined with an
exceptional ability in writing and public speaking. He appears capable
of talking straight. It's even possible he can see straight. He looks
very young compared to his rivals, but in 2009 he'll be older than John
F. Kennedy was in Dallas on Nov. 22, 1963. The ominous note is
struck because such a clear-eyed individual would seem to be naturally
fated, in this nation of dangerous cranks, for assassination. Were he
to get elected by some miracle, and then rubbed out by some cunning
tattooed moron, you could probably kiss this nation farewell.
Then there is Bill Richardson, who I also like pretty well.
Whatever else he represents, he emits a sense of gravitas, of a
purposeful, accomplished, and intellectually-honest person. He's been
on the world scene as an effective crisis negotiator and America's UN
ambassador. He's been a Secretary of Energy, so it's possible he has
some grip on the nation's fossil fuel problems. If nothing else, he
will inject some seriousness into the debates.
Then there's John Edwards, who has essentially remained a
candidate since his defeat for Vice-president in '04, babysitting the
odious John Kerry. I like Edwards pretty well, too. His origins were
humble. Despite his movie star exterior, he seems capable, decisive,
and sympathetic. He has his finger on the pulse of the biggest
not-yet-articulated campaign issue: the demolition of the middle class.
Deep in the background stands Al Gore. He seems to have
overcome his "previously-owned" aura, but perhaps not his fear of the
arena. He put out a great movie last year, but America needs something
beyond a great movie producer.
There's no point in even discussing Joe Biden and Christopher Dodd, whatever their merits as husbands and fathers.
LINK: Clusterfuck Nation